You grow up on values that teaches you to live for others, being good means sacrifices, being good means living for your parents and everyone around you. At no point in our lives we are taught to live yourself. All of us growing in Indian family goes through this dilemma, some stays with it some don't. Those who stays with the values are the good boys, the cynosure of everyone, the role model for every other kids to follow. You are the piece of statue that is showcased all around.
But deep down, there have been moments when you wanted to say NO, you wanted to break that silent statue that you have made yourself to be. You move your structure one bit, forget moving you try shaking the thick mould that you have been living all along. BOOM, you are hit with those emotional family bounding, you are told how you have been their role model, all they have in the world is you. But the,YOU, is not what they want, all they want is, you to stay the statue that they love. Your voice will disturb their delusion. The delusion that they accepted as truth where you don't disagree, you don't live, you don't have desire, you don't have the rights to commit a mistake. All you have the rights to do is follow the command, the wish of their image of yours. The moment you speak, you are the cause of their pain, the embarrassment of their life. You suddenly is the reason for all hell that might broke, WHY? Because you choose to speak this time. Because you express your desires. You expressed who you are and you dared to break the delusion.
What happens next? Does the statue speak up. If yes, then you are the lost hope, your the evil,the reason of pain. What if you don't speak up, you play along the illusion, you remain the statue they loved. What you live with, you live with regret. you live with loneliness, you live with concealed tears, the suppressed desires, you make the mould thicker that made you the statue in the first place. you hide yourself, you mask yourself and you carry on You kill the person who you are but you live to be the good boy that the family always desired you to be. You give in and you live to die each day. The feeling of being coward kills the very person you are, it kills the principle you believed in. But then death of your desire will be celebrated, your dying emotion will fuel the light of their lives, you live too see celebration of your demise in the most brazen display of social norms. The battle is lonelier, you shall drag.
And the story of, 'Being the Good Boy' continues!