After d tiring day of presentation it was time to get back to my secluded den STC...Watin for d bus on busy street of Hydrabad..In front of me all d racing machine,making all d noise,competing wid each other to beat d devil of d trafic. I wanted to escape from d noise...I sealed my ear, squeezed d ear phone into my ear to escape from d noise..D screaming of english rockstars seemed more soothing dan ever before...Now, In d silent peace I could see d flip side of d busy street, along wid those running machine,which i wish to own some day, there were tremblings legs of people who can't afford these spoiling life, D unequality was more prominent than ever before..ahhh.. But suddenly I saw a streching hand in front of d face of one of pepole watin for d bus..Few put d coin happily on his hand and few unshamingly, denying d humanity ,refused him a coin..It was my turn, as usual I seaerched my pocket n found a two rupee coin dancing in my pocket..and it jumed to d beggers hand wid d joy of his life, as if it has meet d salvation.. Me to felt d relief.. This time it was different, one more streching hand, but dis time humanity lost d battle to more of his beholder.. again i searched my pocket.. there was no one or two rupee coin, but I found a five rupee coin, but d entusiasm to jump onto d beggers hand was not there, it was more of a hidding n escaping, sudenly My mind stated knocking my head asking is'nt five rupee is too much to donate, five rupees ..ohh fight of my mind and heart become very intense. Meanwhile my heart played a recap of my two month ,n before dat, old past, my life before joinig,in front me, I thought how papa would have felt to lend money on interest every time i need to pay my semester fee, how he would have felt to send me a packet of 3000 every month which counts almost one third of his salary, how mamma n papa would have felt when dey denied a bicycle to me each year when I did all to persuade dem for it..how i felt when denied..how it hurts me when i left my cricket becoz i can't afford a bat every two months... It was realy scaring, i was scared of my self.. i gave d five rupee coin to d begger n breathe d air... But life mange more, a old lady wraped in a 2 meter transparent cloth, i dont have words to name dat piece of cloth, I again looked into my pocket found a ten rupee note n without a blink of second i gave it her. Surprisingly every object seems laughing at me, screaming at me making fun of...asking how much u have in ur pocket, to how many u will be able to give, how long ur selfishness will allow u to be so generous...I was suffocating under d situation, wanted to run away, run away from everything.. n my bus was in front me, asking me come along as if it will take to my peace.. n I didn't wait for second jumed onto d bus..
But how far can go?? How far can I run??? i don't know. I m helpless!!!
Plz help me!!!